My Internet Penis is Bigger Than Yours

There comes a time and place where’re you have to laugh off the behavior of others. I’m talking about people who use passive aggressive tactics to belittle people because they made fun of their internet penis size.

What is the internet penis? A variety of things, really. For example, your knowledge on a certain subject or tried and true success. You flaunt it and slap it around like a proud parent.

Now imagine that someone pretends to have vast familiarity over a certain topic. They over inflate what they perceive is experience. When they get called on it, they use passive aggressive behavior,  ad hominem attacks, or actually become the dicks of massive proportion to the alleged length of their epeener.

Suffice to say, I am waging a war against those who weave lies and present them as falsehoods. I recently did a piece regarding an indie author bullying another author. I would love to say that peace has been made and the person has admitted their wrong doing.

Butt Hurt Bear SingleNope. Bang goes their imaginary large epeener. Bang goes my head on the desk.

Instead, the person has taken a queue from my post (yeah, you read it, I know) and decided to do a thinly veiled post of anonymity of their own. Except, it isn’t. Why? Because the black and white of it is smack dab there on their blog. I really don’t no what’s worse–their behavior or the toadies following them around with pom poms and no clue.

Have I mentioned the internet is forever? You know, even if you delete something it can still be found? Erasing it from your blog doesn’t mean it didn’t happen and delightful screenshots weren’t taken. Everyone makes mistakes. Your character shows on how you handle them and, dude, your ass is wagging in the wind flatulating.

How about some facts, shall we? You know, facts. Not to be confused with the mad ranting of someone who has delusions of grandeur.

  1. Indie author offers free paperback of self-published 100k+ to bullied author. Expecting a yes to a review even though the bullied author expressed time constraints.
  2. Bullied author gives honest feedback, privately, and offers to help instead of reviewing.
  3. Indie author goes on defamation campaign using personal Facebook page, Twitter, and blog.
  4. This indie author writes a review of bullied author’s book with more than hint of glowering pouty face where they reference one of the pom pom squad’s book AKA plug a supporter gimmick. This review (posted on Goodreads, Amazon, and blog) also contains personal information about the bullied author that is not available anywhere in her author profiles or website.
  5. Indie author writes a blog post stating that bullied author is trying to profit by slandering indie author’s book though evidence (AKA screenshots) prove otherwise. Post disappears.
  6. Bullied author sends requests, privately,  to cease and desist gutterish actions. Uses indie author’s words against them.
  7. Indie author shuts off public access to Facebook page and edits original ‘review’ of bullied author’s book. Still referencing ra-ra club’s book and where the author lives proudly announcing that its on bullied author’s website. The review, as a whole, is later taken down on blog but nowhere else.
  8. Indie author begins to strip all references to his job or place of residence on interwebz.
  9. Indie author removes review on blog but leaves it on Amazon–lowering the original rating twice–and begins vague referencing of bullied author without using her actual name.
  10. Indie author posts again on their blog, claiming falsehoods of the manner of which they were reprimanded for their actions which are a violation of work policies.
  11. Indie authors gives a backhanded apology to bullied author by way of blog post using real name again. Offers insight on how reviews should be conducted.*

On that last starred point? Yeah … because every author out there knows that reviewers only care about characters, setting, plots over grammar issues or gaping plot holes. Maybe in Super Rainbow Unicornland this is the norm.

Keep swinging your invisible gigantic cock but when it comes around to titty slap you, the mirror will show you the truth of who’s fault it is. Meanwhile, your poor behavior is giving indie authors a bad name.




Foot in Mouth Disease

It’s been interesting lately, to say the least. I don’t normally get drawn into a debate on what I write but something struck a chord with me and I feel I need to speak out. Don’t worry, my next Nine Circles of Hell post will follow next week I promise. Some things have come up and I have to put it out there.

It first came to my attention through the writing site and FB author page I belong to. Unfortunately, the site that had the article took it down. However, as often happens on the internet, the golden nugget was saved in the form of a review on Goodreads. Read that here. No, seriously. Read it…all of it if you have a whole day.

It’s baffling, really.

Here I am writing erotic romance because I want to, not because it’s a niche market. Have I made more money on it than my other side of the house? Oh hell yeah. Am I going to forget about my sci-fi, fantasy, paranormal horror, etc and stick to the money maker? Hell no. I love to write and I won’t write anything to ‘sell out’. Besides, as I’ve stated before, I’m not writing to make a vat of cash. It’s a passion I enjoy and I don’t compromise unless I want to do it. Otherwise, I walk away.

Just when you think it doesn’t get any deeper into the mire, the originator of the offending post, one Kendall Grey, writes this post on her blog. In case this one disappears, I’m going to put a little bit of her own words:

Kendall Grey:

There are two sides to every story. I feel strongly that many of the facts surrounding this particular story have been blurred, obscured, and in some cases, twisted into flat-out lies. I encourage you always to seek out both sides before you decide which “truth” you believe. The world has enough bullies. Even if you still think I’m wrong, please don’t be one of them. Share your opinion, but be better than that. Bullies demean the entire human race.

Bravo! I agree…Bullies suck but…wait a minute….

So it’s okay to go after someone, say, bully even if you do it anonymously? Pot kettle black anyone? For me it’s not about ‘attacking’ someone’s reputation. On the internet, no matter how many smilies you slather in thick syrupy melted gummy bears, it’s really hard to know if someone’s kidding. When it comes to your audience–and other people writing the genre–it’s best not to gobble up some ‘sole’ food. If you didn’t mean it in the context of which it was taken, how about you try a dish of humble pie and say that instead of getting passive-aggressive. “It’s not my fault you took it wrong” doesn’t really cut it in today’s society.

Remember, a bully is “A person who uses strength or power to harm or intimidate those who are weaker.” Perhaps there is no right or wrong in this whole picture. However, I don’t think calling someone out on bullshit is bullying either. Asking your posse to attack, though, parallels on a mob mentality. So be careful on what you say, be careful on the internet. And for goodness sakes, have a little respect for people who enjoy reading and writing erotica.

Oh, by the way, I have a book coming out through a publisher that I started writing in 2009. It’s a paranormal YA. Yeah, it took me that long to have it completed and shiney enough. I persevered through it all and didn’t give in. That’s what it takes. Oh and I didn’t write it because it was the ‘in’ thing to do. It’s where the story led me.

When it comes down to it, sarcasm isn’t a bad thing, Lord knows I love sarcasm, but it’s got to be used correctly. Yes, sarcasm is an art and coming across constantly as a sarcastic asshole just makes people drop the ‘sarcastic’ in that title. Tact is a wonderful thing and should be employed. Not that I haven’t ever opened my mouth wide for a good Nike sammich. I, least, stand by what I write and not waffle if the kitchen gets too hot.


It seems an apology was made, though it had to be asked for. *sigh* Read it here, if you want but it starts out with this lovely line “If you and the many others who are angry with me need an apology, here it is. Thank you for being the first person to have the balls to directly ask me for one.”

Why thank you, your majesty. *insert sarcastic eye roll here*

One other note before I end this rather lengthy post. I’m not saying it’s okay to bash anyone. Name calling and ad hominem attacks are NOT okay. Voice your displeasure in a clear and concise way without wildly swinging the cunt hammer. The words already written speak volumes.