Personality Quirks in the Mirror

Background: We had to take one of those tests most of your have seen on a Facebook feed to determine your personality. I know these haven’t been nail-biting essays. Just an insight on some of the subject matter. Or an exercise in bullshitting.

Out of the three—Intrapersonal, interpersonal, and social skills—the latter had the highest marks. Being an introvert at heart this surprised me. Conversations aren’t something I look forward to engaging in. Perhaps the twenty plus years in retail sales have honed my skills. For excellent customer service, you have to learn that giving of yourself without regard to the reward at the end will help you deal with other aspects of your life. This is especially true when interacting with complaints. In my youth, shifting gears caused my anxiety to skyrocket. I ran from situations that I charge into now. Reaching out for help just wasn’t an option in my younger years though I had teachers that recognized my struggles. They guided me and shaped who I am today in some way. I believe in growing up I’ve found a balance between maturity and acceptance in the diversity of the world around me.

Then technology changed the way we converse. In the world of the internet, all perspectives are open to our own interpretation. All opinions expose themselves in an unsightly manner. Unlike face to face confrontations, we have the ability to walk away before we hit the send button. To formulate our thoughts or reflect on what our words will accomplish. If only our passionate emotions allowed for such pause. With real life speed, that extra thought process can be lost. I constantly assess how my body language or tone could be perceived to the people I’m interacting with. Unlike the internet where emotions can be misinterpreted, a person’s stance or their vocalizations can send a clear message. I reserve myself more in social circles because of this though that might lend to the introvert side. Body language will also clue me in whether my fellow conversationalists are receptive to another line of thinking.

While people have helped me tremendously in my life, they have always approached me. My greatest weakness is asking for help. I want to figure it out on my own on one hand, and on the other—depending on the situation—embarrassment is the cause. Who wants to admit that their marriage of over twenty years has crumbled to dust or that the person you’ve given your life to has slowly stripped away your dignity and self-worth? Yet without help, how do we break free? I believe the constant feeling of having to prove myself during my lifespan has engrained that I can only count on myself. This isn’t the way to live. I struggle each day with the simple act of asking for help. Disappointment is a delicious candy that rots away your molars.

All in all, if I remember that there is always room for improvement and new ways to push boundaries of the mind and body I can continue to step forward. Without weaknesses, we never will find our strengths.

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