No, Deadpool Isn’t for Everyone–Get Over It

When my son and I found out that a Deadpool movie was going to be made we jumped for joy. The merc with a mouth was one of the iconic characters that broke the 4th wall and was unapologetic about his behavior. How I loved the base humor and strictly adult feel of the comic book. He was the classic anti-hero I adored–and they completely ruined him in Wolverine: Origins. RUINED! Sure, at the beginning we got what we wanted from Wade Wilson (Thanks, Ryan Reynolds!) but at the end? Holy clusterfuck, Batman! What was it about? With his mouth closed, I guess they didn’t have to worry about something (in)appropriate spewing forth for the finale. Lame. Fans of Deadpool reeled and gnashed at what had been done with our 4th wall anti-hero.

Enter the petition to implore Fox to strike away the so justly needed R rating for a PG-13 one. Watch the video at your own risk.

Oh the feels! Oh the lack of parenting! I feel old saying this but these kids these days… oi! I was disciplined with a well-used leather belt. Not to the point it left a mark, just an impression that I should never do that shit again. My time in the Virginia school system also introduced me to the paddle. Pfft, my dad had better swing with his belt. My son to the age of five, at least on my part, was spanked. I rarely had to do more than one swat for him, never in anger, to know I meant business. Either he or I are in therapy over our childhood. Shocker.

Let’s fast forward to today and the ‘no corporal punishment’ movement. I see children ‘nurtured’ to the point that parents feel that being a friend outweighs being a fucking parent. How many teachers get reamed out these days by parents because Billy is failing and can’t possibly deserve the grades they’re getting. Please, no common core banter because I’m with you on that one. My parents gave the teacher the benefit of the doubt and so did I when I had a child. I was involved more than my parents with back to school nights but I had the privilege of one child vice four.

Let’s get back to my excitement over Deadpool being rated R–like other comic book adaptations like The Watchmen, Sin City, Kick Ass, Blade, or The Punisher. That’s the short list. Honestly, I was upset when they made the Wolverine movies PG-13 but I suspect that’s because he was first introduced in the first X-men movie. Regardless, I have a hard time justifying bringing an 8 year old to even a PG-13 movie.

PG-13: Parents strongly cautioned – some material may be inappropriate for children under 13

PG-13 comes for the following reasons: violence, nudity (usually brief and not titties), sensuality, language that doesn’t fit within the R rating with the exception of drug use. That will always garner a PG-13 rating. My son, unless I screened it first, didn’t go to these movies. Period. It’s called parenting.

At the tender age of ten, my son was allowed to play Halo. He lost that privilege when we caught him killing his own men for a cooler weapon. I didn’t sit him on the couch and explain the ethics behind it or make him promise not to do it again. I flat out told him it was wrong and that he could no longer play the game. I believe he didn’t receive it back for a full two years. It didn’t matter that it wasn’t real. He needed to know everything had consequences.

I want Deadpool to be rated R* and I don’t want a compromise. Go home kids, the adults are playing. In actuality, the conversation with that eight year old with his list of what he does or will do should have gone like this:

Kid: But Mom! Look! My homework is always done and it’s like the X-Men.

Parent: No.

Kid: I’ll cover my eyes when you tell me.

Parent: Yeah, not a clairvoyant. Still a no.

Kid: But moooooom

Parent: What part of my answer don’t you understand? The “n” or the “o”? I thought you said you did your homework? Now go to your room and don’t come out until you understand that “a lot” isn’t one word. PS: Spiderman’s a big pussy.

Okay, maybe not that much but the fact is this: Parents need to be parents and learn that saying ‘no’ doesn’t make them a super villain. You know what does? Unleashing upon the world a child who doesn’t know consequences and expects to have EVERYTHING go their way. This shit is why we have so much entitlement in generations coming up and participation trophies. Stop ruining society and be a fucking adult.

DEADPOOL: MADE FOR ADULTS, BITCHES. SUCK IT.

*Rated R doesn’t mean kids can’t play. They need an adult with them. Something lost on the mother.
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