Another piece I did in 2005, still haunting to read to this day. With all this emotion, I wonder why it took me so long to wake up.
SHATTERING THE LOOKING GLASS
One swipe takes away the moisture clinging to it. It is the gateway to your soul, the very essence that makes you be. You watch it fade over time, the vivid colors that splash your world. Harmony and balance start to lean toward discord, stretched out on a breakable thread.
Your will is spayed and thin, reaching out to save what you hold dear to yourself only to see it slip easily through your fingers. What once was in the light is now settled in the shadow, dark and hollow. The shoes you wear are not your own but it is way you must live your life. Your own have become uncomfortable, their delicate laces and vibrant patterns a farce now. The path they lead you on no longer exists in your dreams, but dust in the wind along with the other ideals you held dear.
The irresistible urge to hurt as you have been hurt is a storm inside you. The first step on that path was easy but it did nothing but validate your bitter existence. The shred of dignity you still possessed refused to put the last nail in, to free yourself from the burden that weighs your soul down. No apologies for the intense pain you have endured and little regret. The mistake that is being human will be the only thing to fill your empty shell. True happiness will always come with a price but the payment is too high now. The candle will burn out if the shame that is your life is heightened.
You wipe the moisture again, staring at a person you no longer recognize. First death then a rebirth of something you never wanted to be. A shadow in the background is that which never trusted your eternal commitment but demanded it in return. Your cheeks match the Looking Glass, dripping with moisture, and it recounts your long journey from the beginning so you can make your final decision. You can no more look away than deny it.
Clutching at the times your soul soared with joyous rapture only to spiral down into despair. The fragile gossamer wings breaking against the winds but you stay above the clouds. The wisps of velvety softness call to you to give in, to rest your head and be at peace for once in your inner core but you resist. The loss you would have outweighs the reward.
Love will either bind you or blind you, either way your soul will ache. No wound cuts deeper than that from one you love deeply. True devotion knows no compromise, does not expect understanding of a belief that was shattered and is no more. Anything can be destroyed with great ease but the rebuilding is not so simple. Words do not heal the broken heart. One must step fully forward without regret and without that which destroyed the song of the down fallen soul. Selfishness will crush selflessness into dust in the wind.
What is it you see through the looking glass? One on the outside looking in. Shatter the existence of what was no more. Let your soul intermingle with the shards. As they mend the broken life, you can finally gaze into the looking glass and be at peace with yourself. Shatter the looking glass find the path long denied to you.