Chapter Breakdown: Chapter Twenty-Four #50shades

Before reading this post, I suggest you read my disclaimer of sorts first.

Ahhh… let’s dream about strawberry eating and hope people know that in the REM world, it means a happy life. Really, to Ana everything is sex, sex, sex. On the drive to who knows where she gets the opportunity, thanks to a Britney Spears song, to grill him about his past lovers. To me, it seems he was the one to call it off and now Ana’s probably got red lasers aimed at her from fifteen other women. Rawr, cat fight!

Head cases issues to be sure as her multiple personality twins have come along for the ride. I still find it a little hilarious that she’s all horrified that Mrs. Robinson ‘defiled’ Christian at the tender age of fifteen but not the fact that they committed adultery. Crazy much?

Bees that BuzzFun fact: Ana says “Oh my” 197 times. George Takei should go after her for gimmick infringement.

After what she describes as a wonderful morning in which she gets pancakes and compromise, Ana goes right back to calling Christian a stalker. Look, honey, you haven’t minded it for the last 442 pages or so. Let’s lay off the term. He could stare at you through a window at night with blood on his face and a machete to match and you’d still orgasm about it.

The good thing about this chapter is I could skim about 5 pages because, yeah, info dump emails. Oh, wait … add to that count. There’s this thing called a phone and you use it and stuff. Oh wait .. that requires showing over telling. The cliché of ex-girlfriend is as strong as ever, especially when McCreepy leaves unexpectedly. Oh how the boring plot simmers!

If the rest of the chapters have the plethora of sterile emails, I’ll fly through the rest. I will not be buying the next book. I got this one for $2.99 and I’d rather spend that on a book half the size with better plot and different sex scenes. Or characters I actually give a shit about. I mean I didn’t realize when they referred to vanilla sex it meant the same lather, rinse, and repeat scenario. See what I did there? Oxford comma, bitches!

The tally so far in the book:

Breaking the law: 3 (rape, tapping a phone, and adultery. 4 if you want to count the underage past boinking. 5 if we toss in stalking)

Showing meaningful characters: 0 (self explanatory)

Emails: Billion Six (hyperbole yet spot on)

 

 

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4 responses

    • A lot of things I thought could be expanded were glossed over or skipped altogether. Do I think Christian Grey is an alpha? No. Having toys and the ability to buy anything does not make you an alpha. Telling someone they’re your possession does not make you an alpha. He’s boring as fuck and not sexy in my opinion.

  1. all caught up now with a binge blog read.

    OK I read all three books and while I mostly enjoyed them, the factual inaccuracies were annoying. I live in Washington State. I live near the university that Anna went to. The problem with this university is that the Vancouver campus of Washington State University is a small secondary campus. The main campus is in Pullman Washington. Adding to my bafflement is that if Christian Grey is a Seattle resident he would most likely support the University of Washington as that campus is located in Seattle. Or if he were a big supporter of the Washington State Cougs (no doubt because of Mrs. Robinson) he would be giving the graduation address in Pullman not in Vancouver.

    next issue: it is not “the” i-5, it is simply I-5 when referring to the interstate between Vancouver and Seattle. This is a Britishism that slipped through the cracks that I found it incredibly annoying.

    next issue: I remember nothing from when I was 4 years old yet Christian has vivid memories. Hmm. I guess maybe that’s why I wasn’t a millionaire by the time I was 26.

    lastly, in one scene Anna is driving to see Christian Grey in Seattle, yet oddly she detours south through Portland before turning around and heading north to Seattle. Simple geography fact: Portland, Vancouver and Seattle are all on interstate 5. Portland is south of Vancouver. Vancouver is south of Seattle. There is no reason to drive from Vancouver to Portland first before heading to Seattle unless you just really like to drive around a lot.

    So… While I enjoyed the local flair, it was botched up majorly.

    • Yeah. The thing about her being pale because she lived there was baffling too. I was in Seattle before and after a cruise. I got sun. Climate has nothing to do with paleness unless she spent the majority of her time indoors.

      Eh. You know me. I’m a research whore.

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