Chapter Breakdown: Chapter Four #50shades

Before reading this post, I suggest you read my disclaimer of sorts first.

Wake me up when this bullshit passes.

Wake me up when this bullshit passes.

I’m convinced that Kate was a cat in a former life. One moment she’s admonishing Ana for her going off with Christian for coffee not coffee and the next she’s all like squirrel! Let’s go out! Oh and they’re moving to Seattle because … no clue.

This is the big drunk dialing chapter. Let’s drink, not eat or sparse with water, and wonder why we get into a bad situation. To top it off, her friend Kate is more interested in getting laid than looking out for her alleged bestie.

Five margaritas in .. who going to call? Oh yeah, your stalker. Oh yes, she uses that word yet it’s like she has no comprehension of what the word entails. but first, let’s get rid of the promising guy Jose. He’s in the way of being manipulated by Christian Grey. So let’s have a little drunk come on with kissing though she’s all like no. Remember she doesn’t want it for later. I know we’re going to need it.

Her Dark Knight, no Parents! saves her from Jose’s drunken ‘affection’. But wait! How did he find her? Oh! he tracked her phone.

Fun Fact:

Unless the phone is one on your plan (see: kids etc), you cannot track the phone without software to do so WHICH IS ILLEGAL. Also, you need the international mobile equipment identity (IMEI) of the cell phone. The IMEI is the unique number used by satellites to identify valid cell phone devices. And where do we find that one of a kind number? It’s printed inside the battery compartment of the phone. Yeah. Fucking explain to me how he got that.

Research, mother fucker, you to speak it?