Chapter Breakdown: Chapter One #50shades

Before reading this post, I suggest you read my disclaimer of sorts first. Also, there will be spoilers.

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Beyond the faux pas of using a mirror to describe the character, I thought the first chapter set the story pretty well. Let me breakdown what we find out about the main female character Ana:

  • She’s obsessed with beauty, comparing herself to her roommate even when said roomie is full of snot and germs. It lends to the low self esteem she exhibits throughout. This also opens her up to the growing fascination with Christian. A person with low self esteem will gravitate to things that make them feel better about themselves but we’ll dig into that later.
  • Her life is very sheltered. Christian is some tycoon that even gives money to the school she attends but she’s never heard of him. How’d she make it through school without Google? I realize her love of reading but still.

Her innocence isn’t betwixt her legs. She truly is too trusting. Let’s take into account the following:

  • The interview is 165 miles away. Dafuq? I’ve been to Seattle and the traffic is awful. Public transportation into the city is the best route but, again, I’ve been there sooo …..
  • Speaking of the long ride, why did Kate entrust Ana–with no journalism experience–to an interview of a lifetime? Why not send someone who works on the paper? This point becomes a bit important later with Kate’s behavior toward Ana and her fascination with Christian. Plus, Kate doesn’t give any bio to Ana for the interview? Does not compute.

Again, I still loved the initial set up for the story despite the wordiness throughout the chapter. I was genuinely intrigued to move forward with the story–beyond my challenge to finish it. Basically the good outweighed the bad. 🙂

[side rant]The publisher who picked this up is Vintage Books which is part of Random House UK which is part of Penguin UK. This book was originally self-published. IMO, I feel that the big 5/6 publisher was more worried about the payout than doing right by the author. This book could have been a lot tighter and flowed nicer. regardless, I doubt either is lamenting the decision. [/end rant]

 

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2 responses

  1. I think that’s one of my biggest peeves. An editor would had gone after it with a red pen and fixed her American/British mix-ups. But they seemed to have been more concerned about the cash cow they had in their hands then the quality of writing.

    • Yep. I would have gotten whipped with a flail made of red pens for some of the things I’m seeing. Hell? I get smacked in reviews if i make one misstep on grammar.

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