The Nightmare Called the Comma

This makes more sense to me than the comma.

This makes more sense to me than the comma.

I really, really just can’t fathom this little beast called the comma. Sure, it’s cute enough and has kicking curves but really. Why the hell does it have to be so…odd? I’ve tried and tried to understand the little bit of punctuation but at every chance, it thwarts me.

Why?

Because I just can’t seem to get the usage right. A comma to me is where you briefly pause, say, for emphasis. Then I read that if there’s one of those dastardly conjunctions involved with their cohorts the independent clauses, the comma needs to be thrown in there. Except, that’s not always the rule. Or at least, I’m beginning to feel that way.

So I go comma-less or haphazardly toss them around like glitter.

,,,,,,

My editor’s nice enough to point the way but it’s still a frustrating joust with my least favorite punctuation. I get the semi-colon better and who the hell uses that ancient symbol other than to make a winky face?

Now lists are the easiest to get right. I’ve gone to this site for wisdom yet I still shed silent tears over the commas. I can take away one thing from all of this. Unlike some of the people slamming books in reviews out there in the internetz, I know the difference between grammar and punctuation. The two aren’t banging away as bedmates. They live in separate houses on different streets.

Still, I hate you comma. You suck em dash balls.

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